Episode 1
David- newscaster- Julio Ricardo Montoyo Montez Sean- idiotic scientist- Professor Gwenhwyvar Myfanwy
Jarrett- confused/ arrogant citizen- Logophobia
Musical Intro
David: Hi I'm Julio Ricardo Montoyo Montez and the main topics for today's show is the earth's Atmosphere and most likely go completely off topic.
"Like last time" (""says in hushed time)
And now to Professor Gwenhwyvar Myfanwy
Sean: Hi I'm professor gwenda- uh- uh
What did you say?
David: Professor Gwenhwyvar Myfanwy (says slowly)
Sean: Ah that's right Professor Gwendalin Mcbatbat
David: Profes-
Sean: well I'm Professor Gwendalin Mcbigbad
And that's the earth's atmosphere see you next time on Really Short Science Report
David: Professor GwenhyvarMyfanwy (enunciating every syllable)
Professor, Professor what about the report all you said was your name, incorrectly I might add.
Sean: I did? (confused)
David: Yes, now please give your report, this is supposed to be a SHORT show (emphasize on SHORT)
Sean: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (slams head into book repeatedly)
David: Professor control yourself (screams as Sean strangling Jarrett)
Jarrett: What did I do stop (struggles to get out his words)
Sean: die you son of a hippie
David: put that helpless man done (screaming)
Sean: what's going on, oh darn my turretes
(as he puts the civilian down)
And you are sir?
Jarrett: I'm Megaforgeos Logophobia!!!!!!!!!
Sean: so your afraid of words?
Jarrett: yeah you got a problem with that? What does your name mean.
Sean: White and smooth my women.
Jarrett: Gross
Sean: yes, so at least I'm not afraid of big words
David: we have 3 minutes, just concentrate for 3 minutes
Sean: fine I will get to the report. The earth's atmosphere 4 spheres, the troposphere, stratosphere, Mesosphere, and the thermosphere
Jarrett: I thought there was 17, or was it 18
Sean: There are 4, as I was saying, the Earth has 4 spheres in its atmosphere the reason our atmosphere is so special is because it contains the ozone which blocks out UV rays. Because of our atmosphere's ability to hold oxygen and other gases, it is unlike that of any other planet. This is why Earth is the only planet we can live on.
Jarrett: What about the moon? You ain't never heard of the man on the moon?
Sean: First off, the moon is not a planet; it's a captured meteor that's doomed to circle the earth's gravitational field. Secondly, the man on the moon isn't a man, it's the way the moon's craters sort of form a face's shape. Finally, ain't ain't a word!
Jarret; What now??
Sean; Okay, see the mo-
David; Stay on topic!!!!!!
Sean: All right, sorry. The greenhouse effect is when the greenhouse gases such as nitrogen, carbon dioxide, methane and others are transmitted through our atmosphere, then the earth transmits it back as heat. But heat can't escape our atmosphere, and bounces back down to earth.
Jarrett: what does it have to do with a greenhouse?
Sean; I was getting to that!
Jarrett: O
Sean; the reason it's called the greenhouse effect is because our atmosphere is like a giant greenhouse. The glass a greenhouse is made of lets the greenhouse gases in, and the plants absorb it and give back heat, which reflects off the glass and back to the planet.
Jarrett: O, I see
Sean; the greenhouse effect is very important because it keeps heat close to the earth's surface.
Jarrett: I love greenhouses there so green
Sean: greenhouses aren't green the plants inside them are green.
David: (clears throat)
Sean: oh yeah, the problem with the greenhouse effect is that with rising pollution problems in our atmosphere, holes in our ozone are growing larger letting in harmful rays from the sun, but instead of leaving our atmosphere they are staying in to and increasing temperatures all over the world.
Jarrett: So well burn up...we'll be flaming people sweet!
Sean: According to the rumors you are flaming
Jarrett: Thank you
Sean: that's not a compliment you son of a hippie!!!!
David: focus!!
Sean: right the next part of my report, lets see what was it, o yeah the pollutants. The main pollutions are Carbon Monoxide, Sulfur Dioxide, and Nitrogen Dioxide are in are atmosphere. Also there is Smog, basically a mixture of smoke and Sulfur Dioxide.
Jarrett: Smoking is not good for you, is that why you asked for money yesterday...so you could go score some druuuuuuuuuuugs.
Sean: would, but my dealer is just so expensive, anyway there is a rising danger. Our planet is in greater danger now then ever in the Earth's history. The holes in the ozone are getting larger every day letting more and more deadly UV rays. The largest visible danger is the rapid melting of the ice caps.
Jarrett: wait wait wait...your on drugs, and your teaching children?!?!?!? And is "Ice Caps" slang for druuuuugs?
Sean: anyway, the ozone is the layer of the atmosphere named the ozone is both good and bad. The ozone blocks out the sun harmful UV rays but holes in the ozone let the UV rays in, but don't let them out.
David: Professor now its time for you to sign off.
Sean: well I'm Professor Gwen Myfanwy
And that's the earth's atmosphere see you next time on Really Short Science Report
David: and I'm Julio Ricardo Montoyo Montez and we will see you next time on the Really Short Science Report.